#4: A Recent History of Bitches in Space

Does anyone else remember the astronaut diaper psycho lady, Lisa Nowak from over a decade ago?

According to the police, Captain Nowak drove more than 950 miles from Houston to Orlando to meet with Captain Shipman… because she wanted to confront Captain Shipman after discovering that she too was involved with Commander Oefelein.

Captain Nowak, 43, was wearing a trench coat and wig when she was arrested early Monday morning. She told the police she had worn diapers on the journey so that she would not have to stop to use the restroom so she could arrive in time to meet Captain Shipman’s flight at the airport.

The police also found a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car, a police affidavit said.

So murderous space woman in a diaper drives 950 miles to kill slutty space woman, because she had sex with her spaceman. Got it.

Well, in 2019 the lady astronauts are at it again. When they are not attempting to murder other women astronauts in a jealous rage or blowing up the space shuttle Challenger, they are pulling shit like this. After falsely accusing her lesbian lover of physical abuse, the elite astronaut, Anne McClain hacked her ex-wife’s bank account – yep, you guessed it – from space. Lesbian lover bank hacking from space. Sounds like an old porno title.

Later that year, McClain filed court documents alleging that Worden assaulted her. Worden maintains that they never had a physical altercation. Those charges were dropped, and Worden filed for divorce, but she said that the ongoing battle in Texas didn’t stay on Earth. 

“USAA Bank did give evidence to my attorneys that she did access my bank accounts,” Worden said.

According to Worden, in 2019, McClain broke into her bank accounts while she was on board the International Space Station. Worden gave KPRC the letter that her attorney sent to the NASA inspector general documenting the alleged breach. 

“I was shocked and appalled at the audacity by her to think that she could get away with that, and I was very disheartened that I couldn’t keep anything private,” said Worden.

Worden’s parents also sent a letter to the NASA Office of the Inspector General citing the allegation in space. 

So, the world’s first lesbian astronaut has committed the first space crime. Orrrrr… none of what we know about NASA and what they tell us is believable. It’s the many reports like these that make me think it’s highly probably that everyone we know at NASA, from the drunk Buzz Aldrin to astronaut diaper lady are all hired actors that inhale large amounts of coke on the weekends. They are not who they are portrait to be in the media.

These women should get back in the kitchen and engineer some sandwiches for their husbands before they do any more damage to NASA’s already dying reputation. Or maybe not, they should just keep doing their thing. In any case, women don’t belong in the military and they don’t belong in NASA.

Draw your own conclusions from this, but if you think we are supposed to believe that NASA officials are our military’s creme de la creme – the most elite chosen few from the US Airforce & US Navy – then your brain is broken. We didn’t go to the moon. There isn’t a space station. And the people we see floating around on camera in the “space station” are dangling from wires in a low production version of Peter Pan.

These tricks worked on the boomers for a half of a century. They believe literally everything they are told. But I’m grateful that these tactics don’t work as well on Millennials. And the Lord knows that no one in Gen Z is buying this crap.

Keep it coming NASA. I’m loving it.

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